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When I leave the house, I pack a bag with 10-15 homemade wipes and a tablespoon. After a shìt away from home I wrap a wipe around the scoop of the spoon, reach back and wedge my hand against the seat, and stretch the spoon/wipe forward. This allows complete scrubbing from balls to upper crack and, for the occasional splatter shìt, from cheek to cheek. A typical shìt takes 6 passes for that sparkling-clean feeling and the psychological comfort that NO shìtstink is emanating from you.

UNITED STATES / JUL 14, 2017 5:09 PM EST

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Currently, Michigan sucks at the moment. We are the laughingstock of the country. Should we return all the "undesirables" (you know what I mean) back to Chief Mamasaymamasamamakusa's village in Africa?

UNITED STATES / JUL 13, 2017 8:08 PM EST

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My girlfriend just told me that none of the guys she's been with have ever come from head. Holy šhitballs, bitch. Perhaps it's because you sućk at sucking coćk?!? Now she's eight years old she should be able to use Google and just look this stuff up. This one ain't too bright.

UNITED STATES / JUL 13, 2017 12:20 PM EST

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Recently I took a friend of mine with a giant nail in her skull to lunch. We went to a fancy bistro with exotic menu items: chlorine tablets, noodle floats, extendable nets, and the like. It dawned on me that we were actually in a pool supply store, and there was no friend; the nail, it turns out, was in my skull. It was a parable of cultural decline.

UNITED STATES / JUL 13, 2017 4:41 AM EST

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Where is this from? I can't seem to find any source to the character or comic. I'd post a link to the image, but I am unable to. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ "Is that so? Well if you hate it so much, why do you have a boner?"

UNITED STATES / JUL 12, 2017 2:03 AM EST

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To thank us for saving them from AIDS with cripplingly expensive medication, gays have now created untreatable super-gonorrhoea.

UNITED STATES / JUL 12, 2017 5:49 AM EST

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I think our well regulated militias should be able to have all outdated firearms like from the Vietnam war and back like anti tank rifles automatic 50. And so on

UNITED STATES / JUL 10, 2017 2:16 PM EST

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I need help deciding what school to go to. I currently go to a private school where I have some friends and am pretty comfortable. But, I'm thinking about switching to a public school near me. It's where my brothers went and graduated from and I would love to go there, I'm just scared because I'm shy. Where should I go or what should I do to help me decide?

UNITED STATES / JUL 9, 2017 5:33 PM EST

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If you'd be able to create your own country, how would you name it?

UNITED STATES / JUL 8, 2017 2:08 AM EST

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I found a cable in my house that I don't know how to use. It has a 3.5 mm jack on one end, and splits into a yellow RCA cable and an orange RCA cable. Can somebody tell me what it is for?

CANADA / JUL 8, 2017 3:30 PM EST

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The doctor told my wife to wait until after her postnatal checkup before having intercourse. Any intercourse before that runs the risk of bleeding or infection. I don't know if she can wait that long. My fat wife's sex drive is huge. In a few days it will be unbearable for her...what should I do?

UNITED STATES / JUL 6, 2017 4:11 PM EST

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Thank you so much for all your kind, supporting words. It really means a lot. I'm going to major in... psychology!! I have 4 classes I'm taking in the fall.. Math, English 101, two psych classes, social psychology 200 and psychology of personality 230. Last semester, I took a history class, psychology 101, and a prerequisite reading class.. I was able to snag 6 (lol) whole college credits, haha. I need 30 credits to graduate, but I'm gonna do it. ........ Soh

UNITED STATES / JUL 5, 2017 7:21 PM EST

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If you felt a noticeable weight come off your chest within the last 5 minutes I prayed all demons come out of you and be cast into hell in the name of the Lord Jesus. If you believe then you have a basis for your spiritual belief and journey towards the Lord God who is good for you.

UNITED STATES / JUL 2, 2017 12:07 PM EST

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Many young people believe that the creator and game tester is a dream job. Is working in the computer gaming industry so interesting and profitable?

UNITED STATES / JUL 2, 2017 7:31 PM EST

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If Donald Trump had his own language, do you think anyone will be able to translate it?

UNITED STATES / JUL 2, 2017 3:26 PM EST

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Okay so like, how can I tell if something is a trap or an actual girl. I have fallen for some traps before and i want to know how to prevent this and actually be able to tell the difference so if i can get any help on how to not get a huge boner for guys that look like girls that'd be cool.

UNITED STATES / JUL 2, 2017 6:16 AM EST

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I have a video about it but it is not working properly and I love you too and I will do my best to be a video of the couch and I was wondering if you would be able to be there for the interview and I have to get a new phone and lost track of time and money to be refunded for breathing treatment and I love you so much baby girl I love you too baby girl communist

UNITED STATES / JUN 30, 2017 9:31 PM EST

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I was banging this nice lady on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, use the back door!" I really should have ran, but how can you refuse an offer like that?

UNITED STATES / JUN 27, 2017 6:26 PM EST

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if i'm going to a concert but I have school that day and doors open at 6 or 7, would I still be able to make it or would I not be able to go in ? sorry if this is stupid

UNITED STATES / JUN 26, 2017 12:34 PM EST

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卐 ADOLF HITLER SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FINISH THE JEWS OFF FOR GOOD GIVEN THE RESOURCES HE HAD AT HIS DISPOSAL. WHAT WAS HE, SOME KIND OF KIKE-LOVER? 卐 Discuss.

UNITED STATES / JUN 26, 2017 4:30 AM EST

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