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It's all hand-picked. Played on Grooveshark.

UNITED STATES / JUL 31, 2014 1:47 PM EST

in response to: I'm in the mood to listen to something different. What type of music genre should I play today?
You have two hands.

UNITED STATES / JUL 30, 2014 8:36 PM EST

in response to: I'm changing makeup bags... I love them both, but can't carry 2 makeup bags...
It's in the upper right hand corner.

UNITED STATES / JUL 29, 2014 8:43 PM EST

in response to: is there a code link for FUСK YOU?
There is also another funny. It's a dragon. Can't remember the name off hand.

UNITED STATES / JUL 29, 2014 5:35 PM EST

in response to: Do you like ventriloquists?
She can't handle the truth. So bye, Felicia.

UNITED STATES / JUL 27, 2014 11:07 PM EST

in response to: I see where this is going... You aren't used to seeing another side of me, and my posting upsets you... So... naturally, you try to upset me. :) Gotcha... ;)
I am not trying to make myself look better than you...you already do that by yourself. This isn't cyberbullying...this is the truth, and an autard like you can't handle the truth.

UNITED STATES / JUL 27, 2014 11:04 PM EST

in response to: I see where this is going... You aren't used to seeing another side of me, and my posting upsets you... So... naturally, you try to upset me. :) Gotcha... ;)
I'm already fighting the devil each night... I have enough on my hands. Boinker... Speaking of the devil...

UNITED STATES / JUL 27, 2014 10:05 PM EST

in response to: I call on Satan to take authority over Soh's spirit.
Yes but the list would be so long that my hands would cramp from typing.

UNITED STATES / JUL 27, 2014 2:18 PM EST

in response to: Any regrets to share?
Sure hand me the bat!

UNITED STATES / JUL 26, 2014 10:12 PM EST

in response to: Would you like to whack the piñata?
Always remember to wash your hands so you don't catch no disease.

UNITED STATES / JUL 26, 2014 3:25 PM EST

in response to: My bf had to borrow my car and now I'm stuck at home for the next 5 hours. What to do?
An antique watch that had been handed down in the family for over 100 years.

UNITED STATES / JUL 25, 2014 5:39 PM EST

in response to: What's the most valuable thing you have ever broken?
Impressive. I've seen the very old hand crank style. Those have a nice artistic design to them.

UNITED STATES / JUL 25, 2014 3:58 PM EST

in response to: Today is a great day. For the first time in two years, after a total tear-down and rebuild, the Mighty Buffalo has come alive. (If you're about to respond WTF? then google 'buffalo model 22')
Yup. And yet they can't handle some one who is straight up with them. Sheesh!

UNITED STATES / JUL 24, 2014 9:14 PM EST

in response to: Why are you asking me how I'm doing; when you're really not all that interested?
I've started yet another diet today... I'll be cranky for a few days till my body adjusts, I suppose... So far, b/f was a few bites of the egg creation I made last night... I've had 2% Greek yoghurt for dinner a handful of unsalted, un roasted almond, and my fav... cashews... :)

UNITED STATES / JUL 24, 2014 8:15 PM EST

in response to: Did you miss me today? Did you wonder about my safety and well being? :)
This joke is a crappy rerun. I really liked the handjob joke! Thanks, first time I laughed all day.

UNITED STATES / JUL 24, 2014 6:15 PM EST

in response to: Joke of the week: I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Was it the JOKE OF THE WEEK A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads hamburger: $1; cheeseburger: $2; hand job: $10. He beckons to an attractive blonde behind the counter. “Can I help you?” she asks with a knowing smile. “I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs. “I am.” “Well, wash your hands,” he says. “I want a cheeseburger.”

UNITED STATES / JUL 24, 2014 4:58 PM EST

in response to: So, I went on the little store this morning. Two customers were in front of me. The cashier starts telling them a some lame jokes. It went like this: Blah, blah. Ha-ha. Yada-yada. Snicker, snort, ha,ha. Meanwhile a line forming behind me and in a hurry to leave, while they were taking their time. Why is that morning people are so damn cheerful?
GRAAAAGGGHHH!!! GRAAAGHH!!! In a violent act of demonic gnashing (like Adolf Hitler in his most frenzied of speeches before a hypnotized crowd) the dog gnashes at your hand like a piranha (like Hitler's jaw going up and down, throwing saliva, you see its contorted mouth) it eats your hand and pulls your arm in... All that's left is a bloodied hand of bones. You scream in terror, and the dog pulls your arms inside. It finishes its meal and you stare at the red raven demons eyes of the dog...

UNITED KINGDOM / JUL 24, 2014 4:01 PM EST

in response to: It's a hot summer day. You see a dog locked in a vehicle. The windows are down just a tad. What will you do?
The dogs says in its squeaky voice, "I'm hungry. Come a little closer." It looks at you with its nice little eyes. You say, "Aaahhh the nice little doggy". So you put your hand in the gap to give it a biscuit...

UNITED KINGDOM / JUL 24, 2014 3:51 PM EST

in response to: It's a hot summer day. You see a dog locked in a vehicle. The windows are down just a tad. What will you do?
I'm real handy.

UNITED STATES / JUL 24, 2014 3:16 PM EST

in response to: Are you good with your hands?
I want a man with a slow hand...

UNITED STATES / JUL 24, 2014 3:10 PM EST

in response to: Are you good with your hands?
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