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stick a screwdriver in her eye

UNITED STATES / APR 8, 2015 10:57 PM EST

in response to: What is the best thing I can do to prove to my girlfriend that I don't care about any of her flaws and she's the person that I want to be with forever (minus proposing, not quite old enough or financially ready for marriage)
stomp on women's feet in public and apologize profusely. later you can mastýrbate while recalling the feeling of her foot being squashed under yours. you can also stuff socks with those round bread sticks and some cotton batting to simulate the feeling of bones being crushed at home.

UNITED STATES / APR 6, 2015 7:14 PM EST

in response to: Can anyone tell me how to indulge in a foot fetish when you're a loner?
STICK IT IN A LIGHT SOCKET

UNITED STATES / APR 6, 2015 11:19 AM EST

in response to: My shaft is a fine-ass madness
If you don't know the answer, then you probably should stick to jacking off, Elmer.

UNITED STATES / APR 5, 2015 10:46 PM EST

in response to: If I had sex with a girl and the condom broke will she get pregnant? she's on birth control
walking around inside trying to get used to heels after not wearing them forever. Then the day of the event the main strap breaks right as I'm walking out the door. I use a flat tack to try and stick it in place. It works while i test it out but screws up while I'm at the event. I have to keep trying to push it into place while there. I get out and as i'm walking to my car the main strap on the other shoe pops off. F these shoes. I only wore them twice for special occasions and they failed me.

/ APR 2, 2015 10:42 PM EST

in response to: Ladies - what is the quickest you've ruined a pair of heels, and how did you do it?
I'll stick with my NES.

UNITED STATES / MAR 19, 2015 9:50 PM EST

in response to: Sony hack I never knew, Xbox? I hate the bloody thing. Hacked. Oh dear how sad. How bad was it for Sony? I have some sympathy for Sony, but not much. Even less for B. Gates the Vladccinator-the Injector's Xbox craptoy. Get an Atari Flashback instead - unless you're a lousy square.
try sticking a knife in your eye now

UNITED STATES / MAR 17, 2015 8:52 AM EST

in response to: My balls are black and blue. I've just hit them with a mallet. What game am I playing?
I'm sure you gay nancymen will have a fabulous time. Don't for get your pink tutu and say Fancy! each time he stick it in.

UNITED STATES / MAR 11, 2015 6:28 PM EST

in response to: I decide to let my gay neighbor stick his dick in me tonight. I hope he is the type to give me a reach around but what if he isn't?
And stick your head in the oven while you are at it.

UNITED STATES / MAR 11, 2015 6:11 PM EST

in response to: Things tend to grow in my refrigerator. I have a house plant that is not thriving very well. Should I just go ahead and stick in my refrigerator?
Stick it up your ass maybe it needs fertilizer.

UNITED STATES / MAR 11, 2015 5:39 PM EST

in response to: Things tend to grow in my refrigerator. I have a house plant that is not thriving very well. Should I just go ahead and stick in my refrigerator?
He wants to stick his thing in your butt hole.

UNITED STATES / MAR 11, 2015 2:48 PM EST

in response to: There's a Starbucks barrista that keeps following me, getting fired from one location and hired to another whenever I take a new route to work. He keeps putting hazelnut syrup in my lattes, trying to make me angry and fight with him. I don't understand why he does it, when it's obvious I just don't care. One time he wrote the URL for his blog on the side of my coffee cup, but I didn't go to it.
GIVEN WHAT THE NlGGER HAS DONE, I THINK WE WILL STICK TO WHITES FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE

UNITED STATES / MAR 6, 2015 11:20 AM EST

in response to: Do you think a Native American will ever be the president of the United States?
Nah, just stick them up your ass, if they will fit with your head and all.

UNITED STATES / MAR 4, 2015 9:56 AM EST

in response to: Should I save the more intense question for later?
My blood. Never thought I'd be able to stick myself but it isn't painful at all.

UNITED STATES / FEB 23, 2015 6:41 PM EST

in response to: What do you check every day?
I don't put all that make up crap on my face. I used Baby lotion and chap stick for my lips for cold winter weather. And yes, I get plenty of nice complements from guys.

UNITED STATES / FEB 22, 2015 3:17 AM EST

in response to: I'll wash the makeup off and apply this new facial oil I snagged at Sephora this afternoon. :) I hope I like it... It's by tarte, and it's their Maracuja oil. :) Nothing but glowing reviews, what do you put on your face? :)
Why didn't you stay? The Philippines is YOUR home, not Manhattan! Manhattan should have never been stolen by those greedy Eurotrash fuсksticks!

UNITED STATES / FEB 21, 2015 4:01 PM EST

in response to: Am back... :)
If you never stick your neck out no one will ever cut your head off.

UNITED STATES / FEB 21, 2015 11:22 AM EST

in response to: I like a girl and I got her number from her her facebook profile. She knows who I am, but should I text her? I worry that it might be creepy if I do. Thanks.
I like to stick my finger in my asshole and then lick it.

UNITED STATES / FEB 18, 2015 9:17 PM EST

in response to: OK, I caved in. I went to the grocery store and bought the ingredients for the pot roast. And let me tell you something, the broth itself, with the herbs (thyme and rosemary) makes SUCH a difference. It's gorgeous. Baby red potatoes, sliced shrooms, garlic, onion, beef broth, it's sooo easy. Annnd, I deglazed the pan w/ half a cup of red wine. I would've added the whole cup plus extra, but I probably wind up fcuking it up ... burp!
And carry a big stick?

UNITED STATES / FEB 17, 2015 7:23 PM EST

in response to: fart softly, my friends
No, but I did schtupp Mrs. Paul with a fish stick

UNITED STATES / FEB 16, 2015 10:45 PM EST

in response to: I'm back on salads, baby!! Ugh, I really wanna buy an Entenmann's butter loaf! I like Entenmann's cause some of their cakes don't have frosting... Sometimes, ya just don't want any frosting, know what I mean? :)
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