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My toddler this morning Daddy! Why do aw the peopo at Twump wawweys wook menta wetawded? All of them Daddy! Tawded tawded tawded!

UNITED STATES / AUG 16, 2019 5:39 PM EST

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Good morning. 🌞☀️ 💕🥰 what are you doing?

UNITED STATES / AUG 16, 2019 9:09 AM EST

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My dream pet would be a mini stegosaurus and his name would be big steggy. We'd sleep together an first thing in the morning we would play with each other's coćks until we came. Then we'd go out an rape' prepubescent boys.

UNITED STATES / AUG 14, 2019 4:28 AM EST

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Good morning.. I want to die.

UNITED STATES / AUG 12, 2019 1:36 PM EST

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Justcurio News Network: Jeffrey Epstein, known sex offender, offs himself in a New York jail. The pedophile ćunt hung himself and his dead body was discovered this morning at 7:30 am Eastern Standard. Are these sick fuçks too cowardly to recieve 'prison justice' from the likes of men like Big Bubba who don't take too kindly to child abusers?

UNITED STATES / AUG 10, 2019 9:24 AM EST

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I'm busy this morning darlinx. Am sitting in me car having smoko and gotta get back into work any sec.

UNITED STATES / AUG 7, 2019 6:28 PM EST

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Am quite the sweat munster this morning. Annd how are you doin?

UNITED STATES / AUG 7, 2019 11:24 AM EST

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Any!! Toot! Toot! The morning is near over! Tootle Loo.. 🏃🏻‍♀️

UNITED STATES / AUG 6, 2019 8:53 AM EST

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A pretty intelligent but seriously disturbed kid woke up one morning with this dumbass thought; "Eureka! I've got it! I could get noticed/recognized more if I overused the word *Panda* to annoy people and distract them from the fact I ask mind-numbingly boring questions!" ITALY/Mar 17, 2007 11:54 AM

SYRIAN ARAB REPUBLIC / AUG 4, 2019 5:29 PM EST

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Good morning, you guys.. What’s doing today?? Specifically, what are ya doing this morning??! 🤗

UNITED STATES / AUG 3, 2019 8:59 AM EST

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Coffee in the morning, beer when it's late. Sharting really loudly, now that's my fate.

/ OCT 16, 2018 8:16 PM EST

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I forced my son to change his pet hamsters' name to Paul Walker this morning. We found it dead behind the wheel.

UNITED STATES / OCT 12, 2018 8:56 AM EST

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I heard on the news that the company that collect clinical waste from New York hospitals has a backlog to incinerate....INCLUDING BODY PARTS. I like to help so if they just want to put the breasts and vagin@s to one side I'll collect them in the morning.

UNITED STATES / OCT 6, 2018 7:31 AM EST

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I went on a date with a guy I like, he thanked me for a nice time and talked about a second one, and we texted back and forth, I sent the last text which he didn't open until morning (I sent it quite late) and he hasn't initiated any conversation since (nearly 2 days).He's a year older and was wondering should I initiate the conversation? If so what should I say as I have no real reason to talk to him.

UNITED STATES / OCT 4, 2018 3:54 PM EST

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How the fuсk did Donald Trump get my cell phone number? I got some alerts from him this morning, what the fuсk?

UNITED STATES / OCT 3, 2018 11:49 PM EST

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Hey 👋🏼 I gotta is your address to the store 🏬 was that I was gonna vomit 🤮 you have an eaten like I gotta is your way you can come to my my house 🏠 I have s tomorrow morning to go home 🏠 night and a night night out for the weekend so we will get together for a few hours so that I’m not gonna vomit 🤮

UNITED STATES / OCT 1, 2018 12:13 PM EST

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It was 2 o'clock in the morning when a loud drunk came past my apartment. I opened the window and shouted "I've got two little girls in bed here and they're only 7 and 9 years old". The drunk shouted back, "So what?". I replied, "your noise is making me lose my erection".

UNITED STATES / SEP 21, 2018 6:10 AM EST

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This morning when I was fapping, I saw some of my dick skin start to peel off. Am I jacking my shaft off too much?

UNITED STATES / SEP 12, 2018 11:40 AM EST

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Duuuude.. I said I am having a quest over for the weekend.. a quest in furry form, none other than the beloved Jazzabella.. Aannnd, I’ll make sure she’s comfy and well fed, ya moo!! Morning walks tossed in too!! I can’t wait to see her... 🤗

UNITED STATES / SEP 12, 2018 10:32 AM EST

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Darlings, Gm.. ☺️ I had a problem w my internet access this morning, you moo!! Super slow, unusually so, I had to ring AT&T, those boinkers... I think it’s fixed now cause it’s pretty fast like normal sooo they was my morning.. Goibg to drop by the grocery store.. Am off today, you moo!! 🤗

UNITED STATES / SEP 11, 2018 11:44 AM EST

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