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“To the man who smacked my butt on live TV this morning: You violated, objectified, and embarrassed me,”

UNITED STATES / DEC 9, 2019 11:10 AM EST

» 3 answers

Can you imagine if you fell asleep in America in 1950 and woke up this morning, you would be waking up to the greatest nightmare the world has ever seen.

UNITED STATES / DEC 7, 2019 10:08 PM EST

» 5 answers

Good morning.. honey 💋

UNITED STATES / DEC 2, 2019 10:51 AM EST

» 18 answers

Sunday morning Das POOP Time is so much more peaceful and relaxing than during the week. Don’t you agree ?


» 1 answer

Gm, darlinxeses, good morning. ☀️🌞

UNITED STATES / NOV 30, 2019 6:17 AM EST

» 12 answers

Anyswaaaay, moot! Moot!! Is there anything better than Tropicana red grapefruit juice in the morning? Love it! Annnnd gonna buy a Sprite today. Equally gorgeous in a completely different way..

UNITED STATES / NOV 30, 2019 6:13 AM EST

» 5 answers

My bowels are exploding with excrement. My toilet is right next to the railing and it makes me pretty uncomfortable to go to the bathroom. It also appears that my fecal matter is micturating. Apparently I ate more than a gallon of beef jerky. Two people are at my door, holding chainsaws and shovels. I will be dead by morning and before you know it, I will have crapped in a body bag. No pain...No memory...No soul...No goodbye.

UNITED STATES / NOV 23, 2019 12:43 PM EST

» 2 answers

I love the smell of desperation in the morning.

UNITED STATES / NOV 22, 2019 8:58 AM EST

» 2 answers

Morning wood, morning wood.

UNITED STATES / NOV 21, 2019 6:49 PM EST

» 1 answer

Gotta tell ya, after this morning’s Das POOP Time I have to be 5 pounds lighter

UNITED STATES / NOV 20, 2019 7:58 AM EST

» 0 answers

Good morning, you guys.. 🥰 I’ll take my pupper out for a nice walk. Wyd?! 🤸🏻‍♀️

UNITED STATES / NOV 18, 2019 11:21 AM EST

» 4 answers

In the early morning of June 2, 2015, I awoke from a terrible dream. I had no idea what the dream was about, but it terrified me because I was frightened I would have to spend the rest of my life alone. I was afraid that I was going to be found and killed. I woke up in a panic and quickly got dressed. I ran downstairs and into the bathroom to look at myself. What I saw terrified me. I was so upset with myself for how I looked that I couldn't bear looking at myself for any longer.

UNITED STATES / NOV 16, 2019 7:37 PM EST

» 2 answers

The laziest person in American government is spending the morning of the beginning of his impeachment watching himself on television and live-tweeting Racist Romper Room. imagine mistaking this goldbricking golf addict for a president.

UNITED STATES / NOV 13, 2019 11:43 AM EST

» 3 answers

The laziest person in American government is watching himself on television and live-tweeting Racist Romper Room all morning long again. I wonder if he even remembers that he has a job.


» 5 answers

Made myself oatmeal this morning for breakfast, I feel amazing. I love breakfast!! No more turkey, the floofer has eggs for his breakfast. I’ll have to roast a chicken for his meals which will be good for a few days. Carrots, tricolor baby potatoes, too. I remember the cocker spaniel. I’d hand-fed him kosher chicken, I love him so.. None has compared since. Not the Jazzabella, not my latest danger noodle, either. He was the ONE. Funny how pets come into our lives.

UNITED STATES / NOV 4, 2019 11:41 AM EST

» 4 answers

Arrrg!! Good morning! 🤗 And what a beautiful morning it is! Did you sleep well w the extra hour? I did! 🥰


» 54 answers

G’morning. Tuesday coming. Remember... friends don’t let friends vote republican.


» 7 answers

Yep that’s what I gotta about the day before you leave the office and then go back next time you’re going to be there for dinner tonight or tomorrow morning if we’re heading down

UNITED STATES / OCT 31, 2019 4:40 PM EST

» 1 answer

I am going through the process of getting a little bit of energy and then I will rape’ the kids in the morning

UNITED STATES / OCT 31, 2019 12:00 PM EST

» 0 answers

I am going through the process of getting a little bit of energy and then I will do not get to see the kids in the morning

UNITED STATES / OCT 31, 2019 10:45 AM EST

» 10 answers

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