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BREAKING NEWS... Man Who Doesn't Understand How Toilets Work Doesn't Understand How Constitutional Amendments Work.

UNITED STATES / JAN 20, 2020 4:33 PM EST

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My unlubed butt tube is having a bout with the toilet bowl.

UNITED STATES / JAN 9, 2020 7:05 AM EST

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Ok last time I pooped it was a bloody nugget and my asshole bled a lot on the toilet paper. I'm shìtting right now so I guess we'll see what happens.

UNITED STATES / JAN 1, 2020 2:05 PM EST

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NOT FAIR, believe me. It's all a sham. Collusion was between a murderous windmill, and a band of rogue bald eagles. ALL TRUE! Trump and Jon V tried to stop them. But there just wasn't enough water pressure because someone flushed the toilet fifteen times.

UNITED STATES / DEC 27, 2019 4:49 PM EST

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I have trump toilet paper. but he is not good enough to wipe my ass with

UNITED STATES / DEC 26, 2019 8:55 PM EST

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Toilets were used, thusly: πŸ€°πŸ»πŸƒπŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸš½πŸ€ΈπŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€°πŸ»π
ŸƒπŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸš½πŸ€ΈπŸ»β€β™€οΈ


UNITED STATES / DEC 22, 2019 12:34 PM EST

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How much crap must trump be full of if he has to flush his toilet 10-15 times?

CANADA / DEC 9, 2019 10:42 AM EST

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FOR SALE: Small room dwelling with all mod cons. Includes: bucket toilet, soiled mattress, stained plastic cup, veg patch, odds & ends. Plus bits of saved thread and safety pins wound tight. Situated under trip trapping wooden structurs equpped with various lists of local wifi passwords. $250, 000 #Comfortable

UNITED STATES / NOV 26, 2019 8:36 PM EST

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My bowels are exploding with excrement. My toilet is right next to the railing and it makes me pretty uncomfortable to go to the bathroom. It also appears that my fecal matter is micturating. Apparently I ate more than a gallon of beef jerky. Two people are at my door, holding chainsaws and shovels. I will be dead by morning and before you know it, I will have crapped in a body bag. No pain...No memory...No soul...No goodbye.

UNITED STATES / NOV 23, 2019 12:43 PM EST

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Rule number one (1). Please shlt and piss in the toilet bowl.

UNITED STATES / NOV 8, 2019 3:24 PM EST

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My toilet was removed from my house, I want it back.

UNITED STATES / OCT 22, 2019 2:11 PM EST

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Here's an example of black culture and art "Truffle butter on your pussy Cuddle buddies on the low You ain't gotta tell your friend that I eat it in the morning 'Cause she gonna say "I know" Can I hit it in the bathroom? Put your hands on the toilet I'll put one leg on the tub Girl, this my new dance move"

UNITED STATES / OCT 9, 2019 2:14 AM EST

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I'm taking bigger dumps and my toilet is flushing louder than ever before

UNITED STATES / OCT 8, 2019 1:19 AM EST

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I just rotated my toilet...

UNITED STATES / OCT 8, 2019 5:14 PM EST

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What's daily life like for the new owner of that golden toilet?

UNITED STATES / SEP 14, 2019 1:44 AM EST

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There is irrefutable evidence of how treacherous & obtuse Trump really is. He's a delusional treasonous pathological liar fuking moron rancid fishlips incompetent corrupt clueless asshole! The Republican Party is now in Trump's Golden Toilet.

UNITED STATES / SEP 8, 2019 1:16 PM EST

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I recently met two little girls, aged 8 and 6, traveling by train with their dad. The youngest needed the toilet so the oldest, clearly enjoying the role of big sister, took her and dad stayed seated. I knocked on the toilet door and told the girls I was an Amtrak doctor and I needed to check they were healthy. I had the best 15 minutes of my life molesting those little bitches. Where can I get hold of a key that opens these doors from outside so I can make this sort of thing easy in future?

UNITED STATES / AUG 30, 2019 7:20 AM EST

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Modern art museums are just like my toilet, they are full of SHÏT

UNITED STATES / AUG 26, 2019 11:27 PM EST

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As i sit here on this toilet taking a massive dump and hearing the SHlT hit the water i cant help but think of military man and his SHlTTY life with no options but to join the military. Amen

UNITED STATES / AUG 22, 2019 12:58 PM EST

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Omg.. it was foul.. my diarrhea piled so high it was sticking out of the toilet water...

UNITED STATES / AUG 14, 2019 4:12 AM EST

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